The real you
by emmanuelles
Summary: Brittany lives in a dorm house with Quinn, Rachel, Sugar and Mercedes. She meets Santana in a chat program and they develop feelings for each other over text. Brittany's life turns upside down when Santana moves into the same dorm house. They get to know each other all over again. Can their fragile relationship face the challanges of real life?
1. Chapter 1

**Part 1**

Her phone vibrates on the bed.

The familiar sound of a notification leads to a series of events Brittany still can't get used to, though they happen a hundred times a day since she got to know _her_.

Her heart speeds up and every conscious thought vanishes in her brain like thin air, her focus completely shifting to one sole question…is it Santana texting her again?

Brittany jerks up from her seat at the desk, and lashes onto her bed to find out the answer.

Yes, it is _her_.

She stares at the screen and sighs, quite sure that she is in love with Santana Lopez.

/

How can she fall in love with a girl if she's never met her…and never even seen a picture of her face?

This is the question that occupies 99% of her brain cells as she is feeding Lord Tubbington, the cat she and her roommates took in after she found him on the street last year. He's grown to be so huge since then, their chubby cat, but it might be due to her irrational need to shower him with love in the form of kitty candy.

Santana likes him, too.

Brittany smiles, fond of the memory of telling Santana stories of Lord T and the girl even made a cute drawing of him. She's so talented at drawing too.

She is so smart, she is studying medicine. Brittany is sure she is also gorgeous. She must be the most beautiful girl in the world. She is sad Santana's refused to send her a picture of herself so far, but she understands. Santana is a shy girl. She told Brittany a lot about her issues and all the hate and judgment she's had to overcome in her life, just because she is a bit special.

It makes Brittany _really _angry.

If she'd been there, she'd have kicked their asses and protected Santana.

After all the bad that's happened to Santana in her short life, Brittany is very grateful that the girl seems to trust her with her secrets…or at least some of them. Santana's come a long way since they met and Brittany always tries to be patient with her. Sometimes she wishes Santana would trust her enough to send a picture of her face or tell her which city she lives in, but she can't expect too much.

They've only known each other for six weeks, two days and seven hours.

Brittany is not the brightest gal in the neighborhood, but she does count every hour since she's got to know Santana Lopez.

She developed feelings for Santana early on, that much is sure - feelings that are reciprocated by Santana…judging by the small, subtle signals Santana offers and lets Brittany see.

Santana is like a blossoming flower in the spring, opening up slowly but beautifully, offering a new part of hers to see every day. Brittany can barely take it all in.

She is not sure about her feelings.

She's never been in love before, so no such comparison exists. She's been with lots of guys and some girls even, but she's never had serious feelings for any of them.

She only knows she's never felt this way before.

/

"You're on your phone all day Brittany," Quinn scolds her and not for the first time in the past few days. "I'm sure she can live without you for five minutes."

Brittany sighs. "She is really nervous Quinn, she is moving into her new place today."

"Doesn't she have other friends to support her?"

For no exact reason, Brittany feels a jolt of pain as Quinn labels her as just a friend of Santana. But she can't really argue with it. Maybe Santana thinks of her as a friend too. The thought brings her down and she wants to forget about the confusion and insecurity she's been feeling lately.

"Yeah, she does," Brittany says quietly. "Sorry, Quinn, I will say goodbye to her now."

She puts away her phone after quickly saying goodbye to Santana, and she feels bad for it immediately.

"Good," Quinn nods with a satisfied smile. "Now come on, Brittany, let's go out for an ice cream!"

She stands up from her seat and offers her hand. "Hey, come on!"

"All right," Brittany rolls her eyes and they both burst into giggles. "You know I can't say no to ice cream."

"Right," Quinn laughs, standing up from their couch. "And I also know you wanna hear the latest gossip about our new girl…"

Brittany's eyes light up. She's been excited about their new neighbor ever since they got to know Tina is moving to Connecticut. An empty room means a new girl, and she is very excited about meeting new people.

"Quinn, wait up!" She shouts at her best friend, before running after her.

She chases her down at the front door, and they giggle as Brittany starts tickling Quinn.

"Stop it, Britt!" Quinn fights her, her body jerking from the tickles. "I won't tell you anything, if you don't stop!"

Brittany gives in to the bribery, letting up on Quinn with a pout. "That's not fair!"

"I don't do fair," Quinn smirks, before opening the door. "Come on now, I will tell you everything on the way!"

"Awesome!" Brittany smiles and steps out into the sunlight.

/

"Hmm, I love smart," Brittany muses as she licks her ice cream on the way home. "Intellectual people turn me on."

Quinn snorts. "Brittany, the last person you slept with owned the nickname Caveman Jack."

"He was hot though!" Brittany pouts. "Anyway, she must be really smart if she is studying medicine. Santana is studying medicine too and she is the smartest person I know."

"Yeah, I suppose," Quinn admits reluctantly. "I just hope this girl's not a bookworm and won't complain about our parties like that bitch Tina did every freaking time."

"We will teach her how to party!" Brittany blurts out, and she is flushed with ideas about a welcome party for the new girl.

"Do you mean how to party…our way?" Quinn asks in a daring tone.

"Our way," Brittany looks at her and the meaning transpires between them without any more words needed.

"I will call Puck then," Quinn says. "We will have some fun tonight."

Brittany nods and pretends to be enthusiastic about Quinn's idea of fun…which includes a ton of alcohol and weed, delivered by her sort-of ex-boyfriend Noah Puckerman. She doesn't say a thing, but deep down all she wishes for is a lazy night in her bed with Santana.

When they get home and Quinn marches off to flirt with Puck over the phone for a pack of weed, Brittany quickly checks her phone.

No new notification.

This is so rare these days; the lack of text from Santana makes Brittany worry.

She must be busy with moving in, Brittany tries to assure herself, still she is a bit upset. She misses Santana already. It's sort of an addiction she developed. She really can't imagine her life without Santana in it and if a long time passes between texts, Brittany starts missing her crazily.

She doesn't have time to wonder whether it's normal or not, because Mercedes kicks her door in.

"New girl is comin', take your skinny ass to the kitchen Britt!"

"She's here?" Brittany lifts her eyes up from the screen of her phone. "Have you met her?"

"No, silly," Mercedes laughs. "We want to hide in her room and make a surprise when she comes in. We needs your help with decoration, so come on girl!"

"I'm coming, just give me a minute," Brittany asks of her, casting her gaze back on the phone. "I just need to do something real quick."

Mercedes leaves her and she starts typing, unable to control her need to be constantly in touch with Santana.

'_Hey S, I hope everything's goin fine with u. Guess u'll be busy tonite, but hope we can talk. I miss u…a lot. Xoxo, B._'

Brittany sends the text, and closes her eyes – almost regretting it.

She lets on about her feelings too much, but she just can't hold back. She just wants to tell Santana how much she really likes her. It will come out anyway soon, and she might as well not chicken out and just tell Santana how she feels.

She will do it tonight.

After a drink…or two.

/

"Are you listening, Britt?"

"I don't think she is, Quinnie. Just look at the sad puppy face of hers."

"Um, what?" Brittany shakes herself from her thoughts and looks at Quinn and Sugar, who are standing in the doorway of the kitchen. "Did you guys ask something?"

"I asked a question like five minutes ago," Quinn rolls her eyes. She eases up, and walks up to Brittany who's been trying to write a welcome speech for half an hour now. "What's on your mind?"

Brittany flushes in embarrassment. "I was just thinking about Santana," she mumbles reluctantly. "I can't really concentrate now, sorry, Quinn."

"You really miss her today, don't you?"

"I do," Brittany whispers. "I really like her, you know."

"Did you tell her?" Sugar asks, taking a seat beside Brittany.

"No, I don't know…I want to tonight," Brittany shakes her head, a sigh escaping between her lips. "But what if she doesn't like me back?"

"Brittany, honey," Quinn touches her arm. "And what if she does? I mean, you don't even know where she is…you don't even know _who_ she is."

"I know _who_ she is, she is Santana Lopez," Anger rises in Brittany's throat, as she feels threatened. Quinn is making a point she doesn't want to accept. "And she has a damn well reason not to trust me. I have to prove her I'm worthy of her trust, not like those assholes who hurt her."

"You're chasing something that might never be yours, Britt," Quinn warns her and every word of her friend is a sharp needle into Brittany's chest. "I just don't want this to get out of hand, because I know what heartbreak feels like…"

"I hate to admit, but Quinnie's right Britts," Sugar says. "We just don't want you to get hurt."

"I know, guys and it's really sweet of you, but it's too late to just…forget her," Brittany says quietly. "She is a part of my life now."

"Maybe we can help you forget," Quinn shrugs. "What if our new girl is really hot?"

"You're crazy," Brittany snorts out. "I won't hook up with our new roommate on her first night, Quinn."

"Why not? It's just what you need," Quinn defends her idea. "It's been what, two months now that you haven't had sex? It will help, believe me Britt. You need your mojo back."

Brittany hates herself for considering Quinn's suggestion, but maybe she is right. What's the point of chasing something that might never be hers? Maybe the mindless fucking would help…though she already feels guilty for even considering her friend's proposal. She just can't imagine touching anyone right now – except Santana, and the thought scares her. They are not together but she feels like she would cheat on Santana if she slept with someone else.

"I don't wanna have sex with anyone," she tells Quinn in a cold tone, keeping the last part of the sentence to herself.

She doesn't want to have sex with anyone…apart from Santana. To be honest, she's been fantasizing about it ever since they started talking bluntly about sex. The way Santana describes sex turns her on more than anything. She's embarrassed about imagining herself doing it with Santana, because it very well might be that Santana is appalled by the idea. Though judging from the signals…Santana is just as curious and eager as Brittany is about it.

"Fine, just think about it Britt," Quinn sighs, leaving her to her thoughts. "I only want the best for you."

"Thanks, Quinn, but I know what I'm doing," Brittany shoots her a tight smile. "I promise."

"Good," Quinn returns her smile. "I will go pick up our stuff from Puck now. See you guys later!"

"Bye Quinnie," Sugar says, while her eyes don't leave Brittany's face. "She is fucking crazy, I know, but please don't be mad at her. She is still not over Puck, just pretends to be fine."

"I know," Brittany sighs. "But she still made a point…"

"Yeah, true," Sugar nods. "Don't beat yourself up over this, Britt-Britt. Just see what happens tonight, I stand by you whatever you do. No judgment."

"Thanks, Sugar," Brittany hugs her, feeling safe in their embrace for the first time today.

"Of course, chica," Sugar smiles as they part. "Now, make mommy proud and write a kick ass speech to get into the pants of our new hottie."

"Shut up," Brittany giggles, punching Sugar's arm.

"Fine, I will leave you to it now," Sugar sighs. "I need to dress up fancy anyways."

Brittany shakes her head at her friend, and giggles as Sugar leaves the room.

In a much better mood now, she finishes her speech in a few minutes. She smiles down at the paper and wonders whether the new girl will like it…or _her_, for that matter. She truly hopes the new girl will like all of them, not just her – but Quinn, Sugar, Mercedes…and Rachel, too.

They've been living together for two years now and survived many things together…parties that ended in hospitals and great loves that ended in heartbreaks, all these shaping them into a family. Now Tina's gone and someone new joins their little home.

Someone, who might be really smart…and hot, too.

/

"Girls, she is coming!" Rachel squeals from the window, almost ripping the curtain in her dramatic excitement. "Hush, no talking now!"

"Yes, sir," Quinn snorts, closing the door of Tina's old room where they're all hiding.

"Quinn, I said no talking," Rachel says pointedly.

"You're the one who's still talkin' missy!" Mercedes blurts out.

"Quinn's ruining our surprise," Rachel hisses.

"You're always blaming me for everything, like losing your boyfr-"

"Girls," Brittany murmurs warningly and it's enough to shut them all up.

Rachel and Quinn are shooting fireballs at each other with their eyes, but at least they are not talking and irritating Brittany even more.

In the silence of the room, they can clearly hear a car stopping in front of the house and people chattering. The front door opens soon and the noises become louder. Brittany can distinct two voices…an older man's and another voice, a voice that makes her gulp for some reason…a raspy, low voice that's dripping with every word like sweet honey into a cup of warm tea.

The weight of her phone in her pants makes her think of Santana. She feels bad for being interested about this new girl. But it's just innocent interest, she tells herself as the listens carefully to the sounds coming from downstairs.

In a minute or two, she hears thuds of weight on the floor – must be the baggage. Then the door closes and silence settles in the house. She hears careful steps…poor girl must be confused. It takes a few minutes for her to step on the stairs and come up.

Brittany flushes with excitement and looks at the girls in the room. Their eyes are bright, and eager to see their new roommate.

Hiding in the last room in the hall way, they wait for the new girl to reach them. Brittany stiffens as the doorknob turns, eyes glued to the place where the girl's face is supposed to appear in a question of seconds.

The seconds pass so fast, her whole body is shocked when someone appears in the doorway…someone who is simply gorgeous with dark, frightened eyes that bore right into Brittany's.

"Welcome!" The others all shout and jump to the door, scaring the girl to death.

She drops her phone, which lands closest to Brittany. She is too shocked by the sight of the girl to react as expected and get the phone.

"God fucking dammit," the new girl bursts out, and Brittany somehow finds her swearing adorable. "You fucking scared me."

"That was exactly our intention," Rachel chirps. "Welcome! My name is Rachel, and this is Quinn, Sugar, Mercedes and Brittany."

The girl's deep brown eyes shoot up to Brittany's face and Brittany doesn't understand why.

"Your…your name is Brittany?"

Brittany doesn't understand, she just feels something…in twitch in the pit of her stomach.

"Yeah," she mutters, but no sounds come out till she clears her throat. "I'm Brittany."

She utters her name and something flickers in the girl's eyes. Something is not right here…or maybe, this moment is just the only _right _moment of Brittany's life.

The girl opens her mouth, a frown ruining her smooth features and her eyes snap to the floor. Brittany follows her gaze, and all eyes focus on the phone in front of her feet. She bends down to pick it up, and what she sees on the screen she will never forget.

Her heart skips a beat as she stares at the screen, unable to comprehend this moment. Her eyes just can't leave it, until she took it all in. The familiar interface, the familiar name, the familiar words…she just can't believe this is happening.

She snaps her eyes up, meeting those brown eyes she's dreamed of seeing in real life for six weeks, two days and ten hours…and what Brittany sees in them can only mean one thing.

She knows it too.

_Santana_ knows it too.

Brittany stands up, her hand shaking as she holds out the phone to Santana.

She doesn't want to believe it…not yet.

"You've dropped your phone," she whispers, waiting for the moment of truth and lingering on every breath Santana takes before opening her mouth.

"Thank you," she says. "My name is Santana…Santana Lopez."

/


	2. Chapter 2

**Part 2**

It's weird.

If an hour ago, someone asked what she wanted the most she'd have said meeting Santana without taking a split second to ponder over the question. She knew the answer. She was sure she wanted this.

But hell she wasn't prepared for it to actually happen.

It is weird and shocking and she is not the only one who doesn't know how to deal with it.

The shock doesn't wear off, not even when Brittany is alone in her room, only Lord Tubbington keeping her accompanied.

Santana couldn't really hide how disturbed she was by the sudden turn of events and Brittany saw it better to leave her alone. And honestly, she just wanted some much-needed privacy for herself too. Other than finding out how to deal with this situation, she needs to mentally prepare herself for the endless nagging and interrogation of her friends too.

It took a millisecond for Quinn and Sugar to put the picture together, and Brittany is sure the moment she leaves her room she will be attacked by one of them – or most likely, both of them – to discuss the happening and how she feels about it.

But oh well…how could she even begin to describe how she feels about _it_?

She feels confused, mostly and desperately wants to know how Santana feels.

It is so weird how, just an hour ago, Brittany would've felt completely comfortable asking about Santana's feelings and would've gotten an honest answer in a question of seconds. This is how they were. Two people who felt comfortable and safe together, sharing feelings and thoughts, experiences…and two people who developed feelings for each other.

This is over now.

This isscary, and confusing, and just so _real_ now.

Brittany wants to forget about it and just be cute and sweet to Santana again. She wants it to be easy again.

And she decides, she might as well stop being silly and just pretend nothing changed. Cause if she really thinks about it, the one thing that truly matters didn't change. She still really, _really_ likes Santana Lopez. And she cares too much about her, so much that she is unable to stop her hands from picking up her phone from the nightstand and unlock the screen.

She can see their conversation from before…the same she's just seen on Santana's screen. Only…oh wait, can it be?

'Santana is typing…' the application says and Brittany's heart starts beating rapidly. She is clinging to her phone so desperately her knuckles turn white.

"_Brittany_"

The simple message shows up on Brittany's screen and she has no idea how to react. She starts typing, but is too scared to send anything.

"_Are u her_e?" The next message says and Brittany's cheeks warm up, knowing she is busted. She can't pretend anymore, she has to write something back.

She damns the people who developed this application, because it shows if a message was read by the recipient. It makes her unable to hide and just wait for Santana's next message. She knows Santana won't seek contact anymore, unless she answers.

"_Yeah, I am_", she writes at last. "_Are you okay?_"

She waits for the answer in anticipation.

"_My room is a mess_", Santana eludes the question and Brittany's heart sinks a bit. "_and all I can hear is Barbra yapping on her phone. I swear if she doesn't stop I will go cut the bitch_."

Brittany frowns. "_Barbra?_"

"_Jewgirl McSnozzle?_" Santana replies. "_I was too preoccupied with her enormous beak to catch her name._"

Realization sinks in and Brittany bursts out giggling at the screen. She imagines Santana sitting on her bed and huffing every time Rachel makes a squealing sound while talking on the phone. It's seriously bad and damaging to all human ears when the girl is talking to her best friend Blaine Anderson.

"_She can be annoying, but give her a chance pls. She is a good person."_

"_Fine I will stay on my ass_." Santana replies. "_Damn these thin walls though!_"

Brittany smiles softly. "_Sorry ur room is next to hers._"

"_I'm not._" The answer comes immediately and Brittany wonders what it means.

"_Really?_"

"_I'm not sorry, cause it's closest to yours._"

Brittany blushes, the warmth of her cheeks slowly crawling down to her neck and chest until she can feel it in her fingertips. She mostly feels silly for being affected so easily, and so deeply by just a text, but now the vibration in her body is so overwhelming she doesn't think about it at all. She loses her consciousness, dropping the phone on her bed and feeling light-headed as she stands up and walks to the door.

She clings to the doorknob for support, her weekling knees almost giving up. But somehow, she manages to open the door and cross the hallway, stopping at the nice wooden door in the opposite. It belongs to Santana now.

Brittany can't stop for thinking, she knows it. The force in her body is too strong to let her sneak back into her room and hide away forever.

She flings the door open, her eyes gravitating to a shocked Santana on the bed who lets out a muffled 'fuck'. Brittany closes the distance between them, watching Santana who is frozen sitting on her bed, knees touching her chest and her beautiful dark hair framing her face.

They stare at each other for a moment that feels like eternity.

Brittany doesn't think as she steps to the bed and leans close to Santana, feeling the girl's breath hit her face. It makes her dizzy and she loses all the remaining fear in herself.

She kisses Santana's cheek, making Santana gasp in surprise. Brittany's lips linger on her soft skin for a split second, before she pulls away and sighs.

"I'm not sorry either," she whispers, before turning away and walking out of the room.

/

"So did you kiss her yet?"

"Sugar" Brittany whines. "I told you nothing happened. It was just a peck…"

Of course 'nothing happened' couldn't be further from the truth, but Brittany doesn't wanna make a big deal out of her earlier encounter with Santana. Honestly, she kind of regrets telling Sugar. As they are sorting the snacks and drinks for tonight's party in the kitchen together, her friend keeps attacking her with questions. It might be due to the fact that Sugar already started her warm-up for tonight with some cranberry vodka.

"But how was it, Britts?" Sugar asks, dramatically lowering her voice as if they are discussing super confident government matters. "Did she smell good? God, I hope she did. Bad breath is such a turn-off."

Brittany sighs. "She smelled _really_ good…"

"Chica, let me tell you something as a friend," Sugar pats Brittany's hand. "You are totally into the girl, and you should just tell her already. This house missed a Sapphic romance since forever."

Brittany snorts. "My life is not a soap opera, Sugar. I won't make a move just to entertain you."

"I know, sweetie," Sugar says. "I'm just saying, there's no point being shy about it. It's totes okay."

"Thanks, I guess," Brittany mumbles.

She didn't even think about how a possible romantic relationship with Santana would affect their life in the house so far. Their roommates would know everything…their relationship would be an open book for all of them. They wouldn't be able to keep anything from them.

No secrets really exist in this house.

And Santana has a big one.

"It's just different with her, you know," Brittany confesses. "I have to be careful. I don't wanna lose her just cause I do something stupid, you know."

Sugar squeezes her hand warmly. "Just see, Britt. She obviously has the hots for you too."

"You think so?"

"I know so," Sugar winks. "Now here, let me make you a drink so you won't worry your pretty head anymore. I know your 'Tana don't wanna see you all wrinkly."

"Shut up, I'm not wrinkly. My face is like a baby's butt," she declares proudly in the moment Mercedes enters the room.

"Why are you talking about a baby's butt, girl?" she asks, baffled.

"Just a comparison by our favorite Britts," Sugar replies. "Hey 'Cedes, what do you say we steal one of Rachel's panties again and put it on the front door? The guys will go crazy knowing we're having a girl's night."

Mercedes bursts out shaking from laughter. "Just imagined Finn's dumb face," she squashes out, cradling her stomach.

Brittany, relieved that the topic changed, returns to the robot mixer to prepare their favorite Mojito. The noise distracts her from the conversation Sugar and Mercedes are having, and she drowns in her thoughts, wondering what the night will come. She hopes Santana will have fun. She is not a party queen, that much Brittany is sure about, but she knows Santana knows how to have a good time. Sometimes Santana surprises her, because she appears to be outgoing while pretty closed off in private matters. Santana has friends and knows a lot of people, but only trusts a few for real.

Brittany is lucky to call herself one of them.

She will do everything to prove she is worthy of Santana's trust. Even if it means she can't do what she really wants to do…and that is, to kiss her for the first time.

/

Everything ready for the party, Brittany returns to her room to get herself ready too.

She might not make a move tonight, but it doesn't mean she plans to stay low and not drive Santana crazy with her hotness.

She pulls up her shortest denim skirt, and her knee-length boots, checking herself out in the mirror.

"Hmm," she sighs, setting the skirt right on her hips.

She toys with the idea of wearing a crop top and leaving her muscly stomach naked, smirking at her reflection in the mirror. "Nasty Britt-Britt," she shakes her head to herself.

She decides on a pink top with spaghetti straps, and hangs a black vest on her shoulders to complete her looks. She snaps a picture of herself and sends it to Quinn.

"_Approved_" the reply arrives immediately.

They always send each other's looks for approval before a party and the other has veto rights.

"_You ready too?_" she types the message and sends to Quinn.

"_Yeah_" Quinn writes, and a second later a photo shows up on Brittany's screen.

Quinn is sporting a floral dress, and leather sandals. Brittany nods to herself. "_Approved_" she writes back.

Almost ready to enter the stage, she puts on her lucky bracelet, hoping tonight will be perfect.

/

She's sipping strawberry mojito from her red cup while Rachel is setting up the karaoke in the living room.

She is warming up her chords to '_We found love_' and Sugar is swaying all around the room to the song, entering her dreamy state with the help of her third cranberry vodka tonight.

Quinn is bringing the snacks to the coffee table, while Mercedes does a fine job to taste everything, claiming she is just preparing her stomach for the consumption of alcohol. Brittany leaves it to Mercedes, her thoughts occupied by the fact that someone is missing.

Santana is nowhere to be seen.

Brittany has a hard time sitting on her butt and pretending she is not desperate to check on the girl. She hasn't seen Santana since she left her room and wonders if everything's okay. Not able to hide her worries on her face, she makes a target of herself to Quinn's inquiries.

"What's wrong, Britt?" her best friend asks. "You don't seem to be having much fun."

"Just waiting for the party to get started," Brittany shrugs.

"Well, we can get it started if you know what I mean," Quinn pulls up her brows. "Puck was really generous with us."

"I wonder why…" Mercedes clears her throat, angering Quinn.

"I didn't do anything, all right?" she huffs. "I might've said we will open the party for the guys later tonight, but-"

"Oh, wait up! You did what, Quinn Fabray?" Mercedes retorts. "It's freakin girl's night. Which part of it don't you understand, girl? You think I will allow them stupid guys to come here and make a mess of my room? Hell to the no!"

The girls' banter hit Rachel's ears and she cuts in dramatically. "Quinn, this is against our rules!"

"Chicas, stop it! Sugar rolls her eyes. "Let's chillax and have some Mojito!"

"Do I just hear Mojito?" a raspy voice says behind the girls' back and Brittany's heart skips a beat.

She jumps to her feet to see Santana approaching the group, and her eyes bulge out as she takes in the girl's looks. She is wearing a red dress, showing off her toned legs as she walks up to them in her lace-up boots.

Gosh, she looks smoking hot. She makes Brittany's insides churn, and the blood rush to her center.

"Wow," she moans to herself silently and licks her bottom lip, eyes glued to Santana's cleavage.

She doesn't even care if anyone notices. It is sure as hell worth the teasing she will receive for it.

"Oh, hello, welcome to the party!" Rachel tells Santana. "As you see, the mood is great, thanks to our dear Quinn."

"Guys stop it!" Brittany feels like she has to step in. "Seriously, you are embarrassing."

Santana laughs softly. "Um, don't worry about me, I just need my Mojito then Frodo and Baby Spice might as well strangle each other to death, I won't notice."

Mercedes giggles. "Girl, you got some attitude."

"She does," Brittany says with a crooked smile.

Santana clears her throat. "So, you stop this stupid argument now and we all have fun or I have to drown in alcohol and ignore you all on my first freakin' night in this house?

Her words surprise all of them, and Brittany uses the momentary pause to turn the situation.

"Why don't we play a game now?"

"Great idea," Quinn wakes up from her shock. "I just know the perfect game to get to know each other better…Never have I ever, are you ladies in?"

From the tone of hers, Brittany gets the chills. Before she can horn in, Santana already answers.

"I sure am, Blondie," she accepts the challenge. "Just gimme a drink for god's sake!"

When every one of them has a red cup filled with Mojito or cranberry vodka in their hands, they form a circle around the coffee table to play the game.

Even though they've played this game till nosebleed not once since they've been living together, they can still muster up a few surprising declarations. The best earn whistles even.

Brittany's really into it by the time the third round reaches her. Since she's done most crazy things her friends say they've never done, she is already a bit drunk and losing control.

"Never have I ever…had sex while wearing socks!"

She erupts in giggles and so does the others, except Rachel whose face turns into the color of Santana's red dress.

Embarrassed to death, she lifts her cup to her mouth and drinks from it, while the others stare at her with pity.

"Finn told me it turns him on…" Rachel mumbles barely audible, brown locks shading her red face.

"That was way more than I was prepared for, Rach," Sugar tells her with a grimace.

"Who is this Finn guy?" Santana turns to Mercedes, who is sitting to Brittany's right. "The midget's boyfriend?"

"Yeah, kinda."

"Ex-boyfriend, to be exact." Quinn corrects.

"Creepy," Santana says before sipping from her cup.

"It's your turn now, Quinn," Rachel urges, desperate to shift the attention to the other girl.

"All right," Quinn hums thoughtfully. "Never have I ever…pleasured a girl with my mouth."

What she says comes unexpectedly to Brittany, but grabs her curiosity for a reason. Quinn narrows her eyes, the corners of her mouth turning into a dark smile as she snaps her eyes at Santana. She is challenging her, taking revenge for Santana's earlier action and it makes Brittany mad. But she is curious like hell too.

Her gaze pulls towards Santana and she finds the girl's frames motionless and her eyes, usually full of life, now glazed and empty as they stare into nothing.

Brittany watches her, daring her to lift her eyes but Santana shuts her off completely. Brittany sees no point in waiting anymore.

She drinks from her cup, to soothe the jolt of disappointment and because _she has _and she's not ashamed of it. Her action is followed by silence and it feels isolating.

"How does it taste?" Mercedes pops the question with a curious frown.

Rachel gasps and stares at her with disbelief. "Why are you interested, Mercedes?"

"Shut it, Berry," Mercedes shoots her down. "It's not like we don't all have a pussy."

Brittany laughs softly, forgetting about her silly feelings. "It's like with you know, everybody tastes differently…girls and guys too."

"I'm sure I taste like diamonds," Sugar wonders in a dreamy voice.

"Right ladies, I think it's time to move on from this topic," Rachel takes the lead. "Mercedes, would you mind?"

The attention moves to Mercedes, but Brittany's doesn't'. She is still watching Santana, but the girl refuses to meet her eyes. Brittany does her best to understand. But she wonders; if Santana doesn't own up to her past with girls, will she ever be okay with being in a relationship with her? Or did she lie to her about her past? Brittany doesn't want to think about this.

She can't imagine Santana lying to her.

She hates Quinn for causing this, for causing her to question Santana, though her best friend probably thinks she did Brittany a favor. She showed her how complicated this truly is and Brittany feels the bitter taste of lesson learned in her mouth.

She gulps down the remaining alcohol in her cup and leaves the room to get more.

She is overreacting and it makes her feel silly.

She is drunk well enough, but prepares another Mojito for herself. She might as well get really drunk tonight, now that she sure won't make a move on Santana. She better leave her alone for now.

She stirs the drink in her cup and starts to exit the kitchen, when someone almost bumps into her.

"Jesus, fuck," Santana snaps at her. She blushes when she realizes who it is in the kitchen. "I'm sorry, I was looking for the toilet."

"That's the other door."

"Oh, thanks," Santana shoots her a forced smile. "Are you okay here?"

Brittany laughs inwardly how awkward their first real conversation is.

"Yeah, of course," she shrugs. "And you?"

"Fine," Santana replies. "Will you go back now?"

"I guess…unless you want to say something."

Brittany takes the silence as an answer, and cuts their eye-contact as she passes Santana.

She gasps when Santana catches her hand and jerks her head back to her.

"What?" she can barely mutter in shock, before Santana kisses her mouth hard, using her tongue eagerly in the consuming kiss. It's so raw, and forceful that she can barely recognize Santana in it.

"I wanted to say this for a long time," Santana whispers when pulling away, her dark eyes telling tales without words. "Now you know."

And with those words, she lets go of Brittany and leaves her in the kitchen with a thunderstorm of feelings.

Brittany can't believe what just happened.

She can't believe it until the rest of the night passes and she is sobering up in her bed, unable to fall asleep. The party went with her and Santana pretending nothing happened, but every exchange of looks told of what _did_. Santana didn't say a word to her. It was as if nothing happened, but Brittany can't stop thinking about it still. It doesn't leave her, doesn't let her fall asleep…

She stays awake for a long time, her mind wandering to the hallway and into the room opposite of hers…Santana's room.

She misses her.

She misses her nightly texts that always help her relax, and fall asleep. Now that she knows she is closer than ever, she misses her even more…more than ever before.

She wonders what if, but feels silly thinking about it.

She can't get rid of the idea though, however she tries. It stays with her and nags her, until she jerks the comforter off of her body and sits up in her bed.

"So silly…" she chastises herself, shaking her head as she steps into her slippers.

Carefully, she opens her door without making a sound and crosses the hallway, heart thudding in her chest.

It's the only sound in the silent night.

She is shaking, and tries to kid herself it's the cold, but it's not. It's the feelings that her body can't contain that make her shake.

She touches the door in front of herself, resting her fingertips on it like she is touching the person inside the room. She closes her eyes, and holds her breath for a second before knocking on the door quietly. She puts her ear on the wood, trying to listen. She waits for seconds that seem forever before she hears something.

She lets out a gasp, regret flushing her and she is ready to run back into her room when the door opens.

Santana appears, eyes sparkling with fear as she stares at Brittany. They stand face to face without words, silently questioning each other. Brittany feels penetrated by Santana's dark eyes. She loses herself inside them and lets her heart talk with her mouth.

"Can I come in?"

/


End file.
